little niggles

Bryan and I have been seriously investigating leaving South Africa. We have discovered that we can get into Canada relatively easily, so it looks like thats where we'll be settling. Canada is apparently a great place to live (anyone in Canada, please give me info on your province). We are both very excited about this move as we feel it is where we are meant to be going. South Africa as beautiful as it is, is very scary.

I have lived here for the last 22 years (my whole life) and am relatively happy. but alas, it is not safe. Here's a poor me moment: from October 2004 to November 2005, i was mugged twice. The first time was at knife point, the second at gun point. both times at around 7 in the evening, when its still light, in public areas! This is minor considering the number of women who are raped in south africa every day. (according to www.rape.co.za , this figure is: 52733 in 2004 OR one rape every 26 seconds ) Need I carry on?

When I walk to the shop alone, i walk with clenched fists. I do this because if anyone plans on grabbing me, they had better be ready for a fight. I intend to punch and kick my way out of that situation. BUT what if its 2 or 3 men? i might be strong, but 2 men... i'm not keen to discuss my chances.

I try not to live in fear, for God is on my side and He will never let anything happen to me that I can't handle. But its hard. I find myself aware of every man that i pass in the street, mall or anywhere. If they come too close, i jump. i feel the fear.

South Africa is not all bad. But, i dont want to live in that fear. The fear is not easy to quell with stories like this one: http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=13&art_id=vn20060523104623391C106165
Unfortunately, this type of thing can be read about almost everyday. I dont want my children, one day, to grow up in fear. I want them to be able to walk and play freely with their friends. i want to be able to walk around freely, without being ready to punch somebody. some may think that i am paranoid, i dont. I think im keeping it real.